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Here are some totally crazy one liners

A conclusion is just the place where you got tired of thinking.

No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn’t work anyway.

There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.

If plugging it in doesn’t help, then try turning it on.

Thank you for calling tech support, you’re ignorance is my job security.

I had to write my own self help book, because reading someone else's seemed to defeat the purpose.

Sometimes a fact or two can spoil a perfectly good argument.

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody’s satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV’s all over the world. - Steven Wright

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."

Wikipedia is authentic. [citation needed]

Waking up early is for the birds.

Angular momentum: it makes the world go round!

The fact that nobody understands you doesn't mean you are an artist!

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

nice one

Thanks Ian!

I meant to say "Mr. Ian"

Shouldn't have addressed you with your name directly!

Please ignore that post above!

Ian is just find I only use my titles on Sunday... LOL