eSnips Forums

WARNING

This is my first attempt at poetry(or at least I havn't done it since 5th grade) and it may be very very bad. I am not responsible for anybody dying of laughter.

Thank you.

Oh, btw, I'm only 12 so don't give me TO hard of a time.

A great loss
By Erin Hill

As I kneel beside him
No one is making a sound
The lights in the hospital are dim
His heart beat is slowing down

The tears are coming out
As he lies there so still
He’s not moving, without a doubt
For so long he’s been ill

And we see he can’t hold on
But at least we will know
Though his life has been withdrawn
A better place he will go

That was beautiful and so sad has this been an event in your life .

it is an excellent piece of work you must upload to a folder and then tag it poetry and it will be read by all the poetry community

aye. nice =D specially for a 12 year old. mad props. upload it. =D
ur style o.O eh nvm.

Well done Erin.
Excellent. Please write more poems.
I look forward to reading them.

Karen

it's expressive poem.thank u very much keep walking on this way.I wanna read more.